Defining Your Life

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘I don’t expect anything so I won’t be disappointed,’? What are expecting from our life? What are our standards of what we can accept and what we won’t? Through the eighteen short years of experience I have had in this world I have discovered that knowing what your standards are and why they are is so very important. From ensuring that you become the best version of yourself, to making sure that you don’t end up in a friendship that lowers your standards. This post is all about what standards we hold ourselves to, what standards we hold the people around us to, and ultimately how that affects and shapes our lives. I will look examine this through education and through relationships. I believe in high standards that remain reasonable.

What standards do we hold for ourselves? The Eurostat online publication recently provided statistics on the quality of life in the European Union. Their data publication, specifically examining the affects our personal standards have on our educational achievements, showed that individuals who hold themselves higher or “A” standards when it comes to their homework and schooling end up having a much higher quality of life, contributing to society to a much greater extent, and ultimately creating a much more stable economy for the EU. The study they conducted showed that the average student who had a “C” standard for their schooling could easily achieve an “A”. This study intrigued me because it logically concluded that our expectations and standards can either improve our life and the lives of people around us, or we can pull everyone down with us. If our standards for ourselves say its okay to get a 70% on a research paper, than more than likely that is what we will get. Our standards define our expectations and what we are will to accept. This is true in education, relationships, and life in general.

How do your personal standards affect your relationships? Is that even a question? Here is the deal, I am far more traditional when it comes to dating standards. Before I say more, there is a difference between judging and having high standards. I personally chuckle at how uncomfortable people get when a couple is using PDA. I honestly don’t care if you hold hands or kiss, it just doesn’t bother me. When we examine our standards for relationships the biggest question a lot of us face is why? Why wait? Why not? Besides the standards presented throughout the whole bible, I wanted to examine the actually affect of not taking things slower. A study from the nonpartisan Council on Contemporary Families concluded that the longer a couple knew each other before making serious commitments, such as procreation, the less likely divorce would ensue from the relationship. I am not telling you what specific standards you should have, that is not my purpose. My argument is simply that the higher your standards are the more likely you are to have a lasting relationship.

Something I am constantly realizing is how greatly our choices not only affect ourselves but also the people around us. What are your standards for what jokes you make? What standards do you hold the people around you to? If you are going to spend time with someone you should take the time to make sure the  aren’t changing who you are. Our standards define who we are and what we do. From how we act to what we say, our standards are what make us special. It was a wonderful friend who said that “changing your standards is not attractive.” So often we feel this need to change who we are and what we believe so as to not cause conflict and not stick out in the crowd. Changing who you are to please someone else will never please them long term. Stand for who you are, be you, be real, be true.